Top 10 Failed Christmas Promo Products

10. Custom Engraved Lumps of Coal: Know someone terrible who should get some coal in their stocking this year? Send them some custom-engraved lumps of coal so they know EXACTLY who it was meant for!

9. Eggnog Scented Trading Pins: Are you obsessed with eggnog? Do you enjoy smelling eggnog all day, every day? Is there something seriously wrong with you? Pick up some eggnog scented trading pins and you’ll never be far away from your favorite egg-based beverage!

8. Pine Needle T-shirts: Don’t be a sap, pick up our Pine Needle T-shirts today! They’re the prickliest!

7. Catnip infused ornaments (sure to please!): For those moments when you think: “I really wish the cat would spend MORE time knocking the ornaments off the tree.”

6. Custom Fruitcake Advent Calendar: It’s the gift that keeps on giving! And re-gifting, and re-gifting…

5. Shelf on the Elf: Put that evil elf where he belongs!

4. Personalized Elf-hair Patches: Patches made from the hair of one of Santa’s elves. Featuring the name of a particular elf, these patches make great gifts! *Useful only if you know someone named Alabaster Snowball or Sugarplum Mary.

3. Custom “Scrooge” Banners: With phrases like “Abandon all hope, ye who carol here” “The person inside is frightful”, or “Tis the season of your folly”, these banners will let everyone know how you REALLY feel this holiday season.

2. Titanium-coated Chocolate Coins: Forget the gold foil chocolate coins, pick up these titanium-coated coins and show your friends and family just how strong your teeth really are!


1. Mistle-TOW Missile: On the first day of Christmas, your true love gave to you: An anti-tank missile….of kisses!

*All artwork provided by Chance Miller, one of our talented artists!