Five MORE Valentine’s Candy Hearts You Probably Don’t Want

Candy hearts are a polarizing topic. You either love them or hate them – there’s not much of a middle ground there. Whether or not you actually like the chalky, pastel-colored treats, there’s no denying it’s fun to see which cheesy little phrase you’re going to get next on Valentine’s Day.

Last year, we came up with 5 candy hearts you probably WON’T want to get. We liked the post so much, we thought we’d re-visit it again this year and come up with five more candy hearts you probably wouldn’t be thrilled to receive from your Valentine.

“You’re My Sole Mate.” – The only candy heart that comes pre-packaged with an old shoe. Can also be interpreted as “You’re the only one for me”, although the recipient might be a little confused about the shoe. But hey…free shoe.

“I’d Rather Have Some Wine” – Ok, this one probably shouldn’t be on the list because it actually sounds pretty great. We’ve all been on that awkward date where we’d rather just finish our drink and get outta there. Give them this heart to let them know how you really feel, then drink some wine instead of hanging out with them.

“Cash Me Ousside, Howbow Dat?” – Approved by Dr. Phil himself, this heart lets the recipient know where to meet you in the event of a fight. (Ed. Note – Isn’t it time for this meme to die already?!)

“Nah” – Listen, sometimes it’s better to be short and sweet. While it’s debatable just how sweet these heart candies really are, sometimes you’ve just got to get straight to the point. This heart helps you shut down any prospects who don’t meet your standards.

“I Am Your Father” – Is this an episode of Jerry Springer or the setup for a dramatic space opera? Either way, it’s probably not the news you want to receive on Valentine’s Day.

So, there you have it. Chances are you probably wouldn’t be too pleased to receive any of those hearts this Valentine’s Day. Or hey, maybe you’d enjoy receiving a random shoe. Who are we to judge?

Illustrations by TJM digital artist: Chance Miller!

Shameless self-promotion: Did you know we also offer custom chocolates and other sweets that are much better than chalky candy hearts? Check out our website here: